As a preface to this post, I would like to thank all of you who supported my vision in SL for ShrinkyDink’s. It’s important to me that no one feels that my decision to close was related in any way to them or their actions.
The reason I am writing this now, is to give myself and my dear friends who may read this some closure on the subject. I am not leaving SL nor am I walking away from the world of small mesh av’s commonly known to us originally and simply as petites.
For those of you who are still actively in the game and actively using your petite avs, here are a few words of encouragement and perhaps some food for thought. Some of what I have to say has absolutely nothing to do with anyone that I consider to be a friend, but on the off chance that you do get something out of this, here goes:
SL has been “broken” for a reaaaally long time. The search features, the whole traffic fiasco, and the total lack of regard when it comes to how some people approach it astounds me. Anyone, and I do mean anyone, who takes out time from their day to contribute to SL entertainment can tell you that it’s a nightmare on some level. Unless you are selling something high quality as content (not an ‘experience’ or a show), you have to scratch and claw your way through a mire of other ‘entertainers’ to get even the smallest audience. No performer, no DJ, no dancer, no hostess, no anything- wants to repeatedly give you their all unless there is ‘applause’ at the end of the show. And that’s where I find myself at the end of the day. Not enough butts in seats, not enough taking interest in what I’m doing, and more than enough criticism to last a slifetime.
But wait, you say, I came to every event and cheered you on! That may be true for less than a dozen people. I’m not really talking to you when I say that it wasn’t enough. I’m talking to the people who decided that unless I was running a sale, I couldn’t post my events in notices to their group. I’m talking to you who decided that no events were worthy of your group, despite the fact that “we” are paying your paycheck for a kingdom that sits there empty and unused for events. I’m speaking to those who very early on came to see what I was doing better than others and copied it to the best of their abilities. For every event you put on that was a theme I just did, or, for every person that you convinced that because I wouldn’t take your shit and say thanks that I wasn’t worth supporting. Yes, I’m speaking to the wonderful folks behind the ~petites~ and I’m speaking to those who were behind Petite Parties and Elysian. I’m also speaking to the DJ’s who openly mocked my habit of not giving away large sums of lindens in group chat, who had to rely on bribing people to come to their gigs. I’m talking to you, Elizabeth, who couldn’t fathom my support of the Immortals as well as your precious Yabu. For every drama queen that I had to boot and for every asshole that lambasted me for doing it… I just shake my head. The people whom I helped and supported, who over-promised and under-delivered, the creators who wanted free promotion that couldn’t display a single poster for me, the hunt participants that bitched over what number their gift was, the idiots who showed up naked demanding sex, the so-called roleplayers who couldn’t even properly string together four words and who then unleashed their grief tirades on me… All of this….And for every Dj whom I gave a home to, free of charge, and a venue that was not only paid for without ad revenue or smarmy mini-mall sales, who made 100% of their tips and made more money than I did off of what I built- and then couldn’t even show me the kindness of showing up on time to do their job or who refused to let someone fill in on a holiday they couldn’t be there for, or who even never managed to show up to the majority of their events before getting fired! That long and poorly constructed sentence wore me out, so there. These tidbits are a fraction of the reason for my decision.
Why does it matter if people show up? Are you saying that you rely on their tips? God no. I could probably look back on my files and add up a single month’s tier in all of my tip revenue for 1 year. I appreciated every single linden, I went out of my way to show that appreciation by giving it back ten-fold. I frequently did things like drop trivia hints just so someone would win and I could give them their money BACK. It matters if people show up because there has to be some sort of pay off for anything you do in life. If standing on the street corner passing out twenties was something that I could afford to do, I would do it in a heartbeat. If no one came to even get the twenties, I would go back home. I get that not everyone liked the music that we played (which btw, was every type of music imaginable almost over a year!) and I get that not everyone liked the games or the builds or the other visitors. I totally get that perhaps we had a few people who spoiled other’s fun, and I worked very hard to keep things as light and drama free as I could at least in local. I really did give it my all, and I am totally spent. One should not have to work so damn hard in a ‘free game’ to provide what they thought was a fun idea to others. Period.
Thank you- to Sifra, to Merc, to Eden, to Rose, to Creag, to Ing and Dix, to Danu, to Cowgirl, to Isabelle, to Ripley, to Delia, to Jilly, to the people you brought, to all of the models in all of the shows, to all of the live singers, to all of the good Dj’s (wink) and even to some of the bad. Thank you to Mic and Bentley and their sweethearts. Thank you to Shiloh and Fly, my two best fashionistas. Thank you to Claire. Thank you to my renters, to my sim-mate Win. Thank you for coming to dance or to watch movies, to quest for crystals or fly your dragon. Thank you for sitting in the Back Yard with me, talking and sharing fashion tips. Thank you for giving me your ideas and opinions on all of my builds and most of my events. Thank you for hunting high and low for just the right whirlygig that I couldn’t find anywhere! Thank you for coordinating the hunt! Thank you for setting up your vendors on Halloween and for special occasions. Thank you for allowing me to give away your creations, to put on a burlesque show in your costumes, and for all the gifted decor around the sim. Thank you for loving some of the music that I do and being willing to talk about it and dance to it for hours on end, into the wee hours of the morning when we all had to go to work the very next day. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder, and celebrate our birthdays together. Thank you if you came, thank you if you loved it, and even thank you if you hated it, because it only made me more determined to do it better at the time…. Thank you for the time and the effort and the sheer JOY that you bring into this virtual realm.
I hope very sincerely to come up with something (and someway) to get what I want and need out of Sl in order to continue. All the pats on the back and chin up hoppers won’t seal the deal for me at this moment. When I start up something again, you probably won’t ‘hear’ about it unless by reading my profile or through the grapevine. I’m not one to spam old groups, and I’m not one to keep doing the same thing over and over again. You’re totally guilt-free welcome to leave the Shrinky’s groups, because our friendship never hinged on that in the first place if you’re one of the few. Will I do something for small avs? Who knows. Right now I’m exploring being a biggie again, and it’s worth it just for the amazing mesh clothes that are out there now 🙂 I hope that you’ll grow and explore, and continue supporting creative events and builds that exceed the norm in Second Life. If my epilogue to what transpired over the last year leaves you a little bit sad, take heart, because absolutely no one can take away the wonderful memories we shared at ShrinkyDinks.